Just a joker!!!!

I danced like a lummox,

people laughed at me,

I was a joker

I was made to laugh at.

I hid my face behind colours and smiles

people came

attracted to me.

I thought they loved me

How silly I was ,

a perfect joker

they came to suffice their ulterior motives,

and I was so naive

I was just a puppet for them,

When I danced to their tunes,

they smiled with me and

drenched me with love

And when I didn't ,

I was a mere toy for them

Worthless!!uselesss!!

I cried for I had felt bad,

I was torn into pieces but

I had to get up

I was a joker

and jokers dont have emotions,

they cant feel bad

they must forgive and forget their pains

and must perform the act with perfection,

the act of dancing to the tunes of its master

else the master will get upset

What if he never cared for my emotions,

I loved him.....

I was just a joker ,

The leitmotif of my show was predefined

I just had options

Act or get shunned!

My chicanery makes you laugh,

what more can I ask for,

I must live by the rules laid by my master

thats my life

the act must be performed to the tee

hiding all fears,

all tears,

the act of brightening the lives of people I love!

After all I am just a joker.....

P.S I know the poem is distorted but I wanted to write what I felt.I wanted to break myself free from the gamut of emotions that had engulfed me.

Take care and thanks to all of you..You guys are really an important part of my life now.You have become my close knit family.

Thanks for being there.